Funny Soccer Jokes For Kids: One-Liners, Knock-Knock & More

Soccer is a sport filled with excitement, competition and of course a lot of laughter! Kids love the action on the field but what can make the game even more enjoyable is a good soccer joke. Whether you are trying to lighten the mood before a game or just want to share some giggles with friends soccer jokes are a great way to bond over the sport.

In this article we will dive into some of the funny soccer jokes for kids. From one-liners to knock-knock jokes we have got them all! Let us kick off the fun with some soccer humor that is sure to score big laughs!

Soccer Jokes For Kids One Liners

Sometimes the best jokes are quick and to the point. These soccer jokes for kids one liners who want to throw in a bit of humor between kicks and goals!

Why did the soccer ball go to therapy?
It had too many issues!
Why was the soccer field so good at math?
It had perfect angles!
What is a soccer player’s favorite exercise?
Kicking back and relaxing!
Why do soccer players never get lost?
They always know the goal!
How do soccer players stay cool during a game?
They stand near the fans!
Why do soccer players never get upset?
They always keep their cool!
What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match!
Why do soccer players never do well in school?
They just want to pass!
What did the goalie say to the ball?
You are not getting past me this time!
Why do soccer players love math?
Because they are always calculating their next move!
Why did the soccer team not play cards?
They were afraid of getting caught.
Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
Because she always runs away from the ball!
Why was the soccer player great at music?
He had good pitch control!
What do soccer players drink to stay hydrated?
Penalty punch!
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
So he could tie the score!
Why do not soccer players like to party?
They hate getting kicked out!
Why was the soccer player always tired?
He kept running in circles!
Why was the soccer team always so calm?
Because they had a lot of composure.

You Can Also Visit These Top Superhero Pickup Lines For Kids

Best Soccer Jokes For Kids

These are some of the best soccer jokes for kids that will have everyone laughing on and off the field!

Why did the soccer player bring a ladder to the game?
To reach the top of the league!
What is the difference between a soccer player and a dog?
The soccer player can score goals!
Why did the soccer coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback!
How do you stop a soccer match from getting too intense?
You give the players a timeout to cool their kicks!
Why do soccer players never write books?
Because they do not want to be booked!
Why did the soccer team go to the bakery?
To get a fresh roll!
What is a soccer player’s favorite color?
Goald!
How do soccer players cheer themselves up after a bad game?
They take a trip to a goal-get-away island!
What do soccer players say when they win?
We are on goal nine!”
Why was the soccer team so good at singing?
Because they hit all the right notes!
Why do soccer players wear cleats?
To avoid falling for the other team’s tricks!
Why did not the soccer player go to the moon?
He did not want to miss his goal!
What do you call a soccer player who likes video games?
A pro-gamer!
Why was the soccer player always so fashionable?
Because he always wore his goal socks!
Why was the soccer player afraid of heights?
Because he did not want to score in the upper net!
What is a soccer player’s favorite fruit?
A score-ange!
How does a soccer player apologize?
Sorry I did not mean to kick things off wrong!
Why did the soccer player cross the road?
To get to the goalpost on the other side!
What is the soccer player’s favorite type of bird?
The goal-dfinch!
Why did the soccer player become an artist?
He was great at drawing free kicks!

Short Soccer Jokes For Kids

For quick giggles these short soccer jokes for kids are easy to remember and sure to get laughs from kids!

What does a soccer player say when they score?
Goal!
Why do soccer teams make good music?
They have got good harmony!
Why did the soccer team go to the beach?
They wanted to kick up some sand!
What is a soccer player’s favorite type of shoes?
Kickers!
Why was the soccer player so good at his job?
He knew how to score big!
How do soccer players stay fit?
They are always running after the ball!
What did the soccer ball say to the goalie?
Catch me if you can!
Why was the soccer player so bad at baseball?
He kept kicking the ball!
Why do not soccer players ever argue?
They always try to stay on the ball.
What is the soccer team’s favorite dessert?
Pie in the net!
Why did the soccer player always smile?
Because he had goals in life!
Why did the soccer ball go to school?
It wanted to become well-rounded!
What is a soccer coach’s favorite plant?
Goal-denrod!
Why are soccer players bad at basketball?
They do not like to use their hands!
Why did the soccer ball go to the doctor?
It was feeling a little deflated!
What do soccer players say when they lose?
We will kick back next time!
What kind of car does a soccer player drive?
A goal-fari!
Why was the soccer team always happy?
Because they scored plenty of points!
Why do soccer players love pizza?
It is the best thing after a good kickabout!
What does a soccer team do on Halloween?
They go trick or kick!

Good Soccer Jokes For Kids

These good soccer jokes for kids are guaranteed to bring a smile to any soccer fan!

What does a soccer player use to dry off after a shower?
A goal towel!
Why did the soccer player bring a broom to the game?
To sweep the competition!
Why was the soccer player always invited to parties?
He knew how to kick things off!
What did the soccer net say to the ball?
I will catch you later!
Why do not soccer players get lost?
They always have a goal to follow!
Why did the soccer player fail his test?
He did not want to pass!
What did the soccer coach say when the team lost?
We are just getting warmed up for the next goal!
Why did the soccer team bring a pencil to the game?
To draw free kicks!
What is a soccer player’s favorite drink?
Goal-ade!
What do soccer players say before a big match?
Let us kick it up a notch!
Why do not soccer players trust stairs?
They are always up to something!
Why did the soccer team go to the dentist?
They had a goal cavity!
What is a soccer coach’s favorite drink?
Penalty Punch!
Why did the soccer player bring an umbrella to the game?
Because there was a chance of showers (goals)!
Why was the soccer match so relaxing?
Because the players were goal-oriented!
Why do soccer players love cooking?
They are great at stirring up excitement!
Why did the soccer player become a teacher?
He loved passing on knowledge!
Why do soccer players love numbers?
Because they are always counting on their goals!
What is a soccer player’s favorite place to shop?
Goal-Mart!
Why was the soccer team always early for practice?
Because they could not wait to kick off!

Readers Also Love These Best Food Rizz Pickup Lines

Knock Knock Soccer Jokes For Kids

Knock-knock jokes are a classic way to get kids laughing and when you mix them with soccer it is a winning combo! Here are hilarious knock knock soccer jokes that will have kids laughing out loud.

Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Soccer.
Soccer who?
Soccer you going to answer the door or what?
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Goal.
Goal who?
Goal on open the door!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Kick.
Kick who?
Kick back and relax it is time for a soccer joke!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Penalty.
Penalty who?
Penalty you open the door please?
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Coach.
Coach who?
Coach you later I am going to the soccer game!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ref.
Ref who?
Ref you ready for the soccer match?
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Goalie.
Goalie who?
Goalie let me in. It is cold out here!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Pitch.
Pitch who?
Pitch perfect timing. The game’s about to start!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Soccer ball.
Soccer ball who?
Soccer ball and I will see you on the field!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Pass.
Pass who?
Pass me the ball and let us score!
Knock, knock.
Who iss there?
Kick.
Kick who?
Kick out all the worries and just play!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Win.
Win who?
Win are you going to let me in?
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Tackle.
Tackle who?
Tackle this joke and you will be laughing all day!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Goalpost.
Goalpost who?
Goalpost-man the mail is here!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Corner.
Corner who?
Corner up and open the door already!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Defender.
Defender who?
Defender of the goal of course!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Forward.
Forward who?
Forward the ball let us play!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Midfielder.
Midfielder who?
Midfielder of fun that is me!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Shoes.
Shoes who?
Shoes your team and let us hit the field!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Sub.
Sub who?
Sub me in coach! I am ready to play!